And those new poses were much more exciting. Until then the magazines that I had seen had only girls in shy poses, covering their pussies with their hand, most even covering their breasts. The new magazines had girls spreading their legs and spreading their pussy lips, as if they were offering their pussies and their breasts. Even though I still didn't know what it was all about and I didn't know anything about sex, those poses and the way the girls posed, offering their pussies, made me much more excited.
And this increased excitement led me to my biggest discovery.
One afternoon I was in bed looking at one of those magazines. One particular photo caught my attention. It was a very pretty blonde with very nice breasts, laying down on a bed, spreading her legs, with her knees a little flexed, her left hand fingers spreading her pussy lips and the middle finger of her right hand on her clit (of course, in that period I didn't know it was called "clit". I used to call it "the little button") and an expression of pure pleasure on her face. I put myself in the same position and spread my pussy lips as she was doing and started to rub my little button. At one point, the pleasant sensation started increasing, making me want to spread my legs even more. All that rubbing was starting to hurt my little button so I licked my fingers to lubricate them and concentrated my rubbing on the hood and the area around, not on the button itself because it is too sensitive. The pleasure was still increasing. My fingers started moving faster, in circular movements around the little button. And then... I felt like a force was taking charge of my body muscles. All my muscles contracted making me put my feet back on the bed and raise my pelvis up in the air. My right hand fingers were like pressing a release button. I I held the air in my lungs and stopped breathing and threw my head back, my mouth open like in a silent scream, I felt heat covering my face, I was probably blushing and yet my body was shivering like it was cold. All the hairs in my body and head stood up in shivers and goose bumps. I stayed like that, unmovable, for a few seconds but it felt like a few minutes. My vision turned dark. I thought I was passing out. Then all my muscles relaxed and my body slumped back on the bed. My breathing came back and I started to moan. My body was shivering and spasming and my legs felt powerless like jelly.
I just had my first orgasm.
Of course, in that time I had no idea what just happened. First I panicked thinking that my fears had come true: I had hurt myself doing it, I got a disease! Then I thought that if it was a disease, it couldn't feel THAT good. Then I thought that if I'm sick and I'm feeling good then the sickness may not be physical, it is mental! I imagined myself being taken to the hospital. Then to a mental institution.
I had all these thoughts in just a fraction of a second. Or maybe it was all at the same time. I tried to calm down and think this over. And I thought that it was probably a freak accident and it may not happen again. Then after long deliberation I thought that there is only one way to find out. I was anxious and worried. Wishing to feel that intense pleasure and frightened that it may happen again. I continued flipping through the magazine. Other girls spreading their legs and touching their pussies, some spreading their pussy lips like offering their pussies for men to penetrate, with that expression of pleasure on their faces. If they do it and show it in magazines then it can't be a disease. I started getting excited again and started rubbing my pussy. I went back to that photo of the blonde girl spreading her legs and masturbating. I put myself in position again. After a few minutes that sensation came back and started growing. It was coming. I was afraid but wanted it at the same time. It was getting closer. It was too pleasant to stop. I wanted it. And it finally came. My muscles contracted, my head thrown back, my mouth open, shivers, spasms, goose bumps, heavy breathing and moaning. Nooo, this can't be sickness. This can't be a disease. It is so pleasant that it can only be good. Yes, it has to be something good. But then why do we have to keep it secret? I don't know. But I want more.
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